Crafts Deciphered

This is a guide to translation for those who received gifts over Christmas which probably came from a crafty popup shop (handwritten labels aren’t always a dead giveaway, but are often a clue). Truth be told, I like and support this kind of local enterprise, and have been heartened to see an explosion of cottage industry in and around Walsall and the wider area. The following is not a serious aseessment but for the purposes of gentle humour only. Happy New Year.

  • Handmade – wonky
  • Homemade – charming but wonky
  • Artisanal – less wonky but more expensive
  • Slow – somehow more real
  • Foraged – be impressed with the effort
  • Forged – remarkably honest or not great with spelling
  • Limited Edition – expensive
  • Print – photocopy
  • Inspired by – copied from
  • Homage – plagiarism
  • Upcycled – recycled
  • Vintage – looks old
  • Original – new
  • Vintage Originals – old but real
  • Classic – all the faults of the original one
  • Reduced in price – undue optimism deflated by experience
  • Unique – happy accident
  • Deconstructed – unhappy accident
  • Truly Unique – expensive happy accident
  • Avant Gardesee Deconstructed
  • Reworkedsee Avant garde
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